We have reached the ripe old age of two with our third child and as much as I enjoy her cheekiness and the way she is truely developing in to her own little unique self I have been so wrapped up in surviving I just realised I had forgotten one of my major goals I’ve had since I was a little girl. Which has compelled me to write this post- I’ve written before about keeping hold of ‘you’ when you become a parent but I’ve realised its something you just have to revisit on a regular basis…or it becomes all consuming, again.
I kind of ‘forgot’ one of my main goals in life…
I was so busy keeping a tiny human alive, at the same time as setting up a new business, I actually forgot about my love of writing. My goal to develop my freelance writing portfolio and my life long dream of becoming a Beauty Editor. I’m not sure how it happened…sure I’ve been busy looking after my family but I definitely got sucked into the void of social media. Not just looking on instagram but actually curating other people instagrams…is that my passion? Probably not, do I like creating something which connects an audience? Definitely. For me I’m realising I’m a connection in person, person and a connection through written word. So how to connect to the you that we know is in there…
Dabbling in something– I really feel like if you are committed to hanging on to you as a person it’s important to find something to keep you connected to the external world outside of what your children are doing and making it an non negotiable for the rest of your family. They need to know that for these particular times you are not available. We throw terms around like ‘self care’ and ‘me time’ but are we really committing to scheduling those times in for ourselves on a regular basis? And do we really realise how important these times are for preserving your feelings of self? My self care has been work for a long time but particularly going back to work after having Coco. I was so intent on looking after myself by throwing myself into work it certainly took its toll on some of my close relationships which thankfully I have managed to to repair with honesty and a little more planning than I was giving them before. I few great ideas I have heard recently from friends have been book clubs- a two fold win in reading the written word but also connecting with other women to talk about the stories and their take aways from what they’ve read hopefully with a glass or two of bubbles as well, falling in love with movement- finding that gym class or a routine that really speaks to you or getting your yoga on- my girlfriend assures me there a yoga for everyone; getting serious about a hobby- my own little hobby I recently have been enjoying is putting together a schedule of workshops that I aim to create a bit of a well being program. The Self Care Sunday Series- is where women can come along to connect with others, learn something, and share in something they know is theirs and show up to consistently- just to be themselves.
Realising that you are worthy of it – I don’t think I’m alone in putting myself last in terms of the family’s need… and I know for a fact that the same thing can lead to resentment. As a mother and a partner you are pulled in many directions and when we do decide to take time out for ourselves we usually attach guilt on to it too. Just to rationalise that and reframe that- do our partners feel guilt when they take themselves out to play their chosen sport- probably not? Do our children feel guilty when they go for a play date with their friends- doubt it. Do our babies feel guilty when they wake up from their blissful naps- absolutely not. Well should you? We need to own up to ourselves that we are worthy of that time off, book it in and take it.
Find an accountability partner- finding someone thats in a similar situation or pathway to you can really help as you can encourage each other to achieve your goals. Well here’s the twist- you are mine! Sometimes I need to come out of a challenging time to realise something that is very important to me has slipped (at the moment I can name a few but this is not a pity party post). I think we all know when we are ready to start showing up for ourselves and I think this is mine. I’m putting it out there that I want to pursue my freelance writing career, obtain an internship and take a step closer to a beauty editor role.
Taking Action– the next stage in noticing all of this is doing something and that’s usually the hardest part right? Did you know it only takes 30 days of doing something to make it part of your life, your daily routine. One thing I like to do is take an audit of my day to day and see what I could be doing a little more effectively. Number one for me I spending too much time on my phone, it truely is time to give that a miss for me, what’s yours?
There I said it and now I have to do it. If you haven’t seen what I’ve been busy doing at Heart Centred I would love for you to pop over and have a look and if you are interested in coming along to our workshops, committing some time to yourself you can sign up to be notified about out Self Care Sunday Series here. One benefit of doing these things for yourself- your kids are going to respect you for it and I hope they will remember it when they are parents.